“Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes, in all situations. Sometimes it sounds like a whisper, sometimes it sounds like a freight train. No matter how it decides to speak to you, the key is simply to listen and decide if you’re ready to take a chance with Fear no doubt somewhere nearby huddled in the corner.”
Fear(less)- “without Fear”
I’m about to tell you something that may surprise you, even shock you, especially because I’m a coach. Whoever said that you should be fearless, is a liar.
I know, I know, we always hear about how fearless we should be. No fear! Hell, even Taylor Swift wrote a smash hit about being fearless, but I’m here to tell you my take on it. I think it’s bogus, a total fallacy. I’m afraid a lot, how about you? Does that mean that something is wrong with us? Are we weak or not as spiritual of beings? Nope. Fear is kind of a sure, healthy thing, not a bad thing to be “destroyed,” so long as you know how to approach it and you know its roots. Let me explain myself.
To start, Grandfather Fear, as Liz Gilbert cleverly calls it in her book Big Magic, thankfully keeps us from doing really stupid things. Second, and what I’ll be focusing on, fear is as natural as feelings get. Fear is innate. We are born into this world crying because we don’t understand what is happening. The world as we knew it has just shifted drastically. That’s scary! We have entered a new stage of life, and we have no idea what the hell is going on. Now it’s not that being born is a bad thing, quite the contrary, it’s a beautiful thing, but it is growth nonetheless. And growth, expansion, and change can be VERY scary. Why? Because we don’t typically like what we can’t predict and what we don’t understand. But does that mean that Fear is bad? No.
So why be born with something that never wants us to try anything new? Because Fear reminds us to be brave and to trust! The opposite of being fearless is not being afraid, it’s being brave! When faced with being downright scared, but knowing that we want something more than we’re afraid of it, that’s bravery and trust enacted, that’s the other side of fear! Taking big leaps isn’t about being fearless, it’s about acknowledging Fear front and center, and saying, “Thank you for your concern, but I really don’t need you right now.” It’s about trusting in something bigger than you to get you where you need to be and being willing to put in the work yourself, as well.
Does this mean that I am huddled in the corner somewhere totally inept at making decisions because I am constantly afraid? Nope. It just means that I have learned to get kinda cozy with Fear, in a way, because I know it will keep cropping up again and again, especially if I plan on, ya know, growing at all as a person.
So instead of resisting it like it’s something to be destroyed, I 1) notice it as the feeling arises 2) take note of what triggered me and 3) I lean into my own belief in my self along with my fierce faith in the Universe to help me. Depending on the circumstances, I share my fear with others who may be able to help me or reflect for me in a rational manner.
No cowering in the corner. No relinquishing yourself to a life of being stagnant or stuck or frozen in fear. It’s about calling your power back and owning your fears.
Some examples of bravery in action:
When we are about to do something that we have never done before. When we are moving into more of our Truth. When we say yes to something we love when we know very well that it might fail. When we start dating again. When a side hustle takes off and requires us to leap and quit our corporate jobs. When we know we have to move on and say goodbye.
Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes, in all situations. Sometimes it sounds like a whisper, sometimes it sounds like a freight train. No matter how it decides to speak to you, the key is simply to listen and decide if you’re ready to take a chance with Fear no doubt somewhere nearby huddled in the corner.
The lesson? We must honor our fears in order to move past them. After all, Fear isn’t going anywhere, so why not acknowledge it to move through it with g r a c e?
Fearlessness not required.
Dealing with fear head-on is one of the best things to do in order to face forward. Try this simple fear assignment to release your fears by acknowledging them first.
Say ALL of your fears out loud in front of someone else for 1 minute (time yourself) and stop as soon as the timer goes off, even if you’re mid sentence. You might be surprised at how silly some of your fears may sound, you may be surprised at what you said, or you might find this completely unnerving. When you’re done, be sure to ask for some feedback from your partner Chances are, they will make you feel loads better and provide a welcome outside perspective!
My current passion project is The Journal Deck, an oracle card deck meets journal prompts for self care and personal growth, and some of my favorite prompts in the deck relate to fear! Check it out at thejournaldeck.com